According to Buddhism, there are four elements of true love:
1. 'Maitri': lovingkindness, the desire and ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love.
2. 'Karuna': compassion, the desire and ability to ease the pain of another.
3. 'Mutida': joy, if there is no joy in your love, it is not true love.
4. 'Upeksha': equanimity or freedom, in true love you attain freedom and you bring freedom to the one you love.
This from a little book by Thich Nhat Hahn, a Zen Buddhist monk from Vietnam. In "True Love - a practice for awakening the heart" he explores these four elements. He especially encourages 'deep looking' - the ability to focus all your attention on the other.
How do we know how we're doing on these?
Mindfulness. Awareness. Being.
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