Another Taxi ride. Another trip down a reverberating tunnel of unspeakable cacophony. Horn blowing. If a Californian lawyer were in my place he'd launch a class action the size of Greece's foreign debt against Indian drivers.
On previous trips I observed, I listened, I tried to make sense of this endless sonic pollution. I failed.
Time to try again.
And I may just have figured the whole thing out! Morse code!
Now this may tax the uninitiated (I studied Morse for my Radio Experimenter's licence ("Ham Radio" to you) when I was 13. And I have never forgotten it (some would call that a curse)).
Granted, I am taking a leap of interpretation but bear with me. See, the horn blowing corresponds to a letter - and all you need is the inspiration to link that letter to the associated sentiment. At least for this exercise, I have inspiration in abundance. Here goes.
(For the doubters, remember that a short toot on the horn corresponds to a 'dot' and a long one a 'dash')
A short toot (E) - Eh, hello! Get out of my way!
A long toot (T) - Tool! Get out of my way!
Two long toots (M) - Mother of God! Get out of my way!
(feel free to substitute God with Kali, Shiva, Vishnu etc)
Three long toots (O) - Oh for the love of Kali! Get out of my way!
(are you getting the hang of this yet?)
One short, one (very) long, one short (R) - Really? you cannot be serious?
Maybe just one more:
Five long toots (0 - a tougher one) - 0 - you are SOOOOO off my Christmas Card list!
I feel a new understanding for Mr Swarthy and Mr Frank!
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